Terminally single

so I was in the Golden Roach(diner) with Dani talking about how officially told my ex to get bent and listening to Dani's tale of ex-ly woe. At some point I mention that I'm not pretty, and I'm waiting for a guy to look past that which I lack and find me intelligent and eventually enjoy my company...And I'm about to keep talking and ask her if she wants start doing dance aerobics with me while on break and instead I don't make it to the dance aerobics question because Dani flips out. She's annoyed with me mentioning that I'm not pretty ( think a few of the guys at the other tables were staring as I said in a clear voice, "I'm not pretty, I get it.") And things of this nature. Dani proceeds to try to prod me with a fork. I doge her attempts with ease. But her eyes were twinged with sadness... while saying "stop talking about yourself that way... I'm going to tell your mom!"

And here is a question... Is it ok for a person to accept the truth of their lack of good looks?

It seems not, because people start to question your self-esteem, and get annoyed and tell you about how you can't compare yourself to movie star who are air brushed ...etc etc etc ... but there are some of us who know we can look our best and still not look as good as other everyday individuals. I take steps to look my personal best, or presentable, wear clothing that looks nice, and put together, but I'm not good looking... WHY IS THIS SUCH A PROBLEM FOR PEOPLE? I'm not saying I'm not good, or particularly ugly. Just not good looking. I'm smart, fun, funny, sweet, a hell of a baker, a nice singer, a great roadtrip buddy, a good tutor, and an ok babysitter. And I;m getting pretty good at the film thing, so I'm not without my options. And yet

People base what kind of relationship they want to have with other people on if they are attracted to them or not (It's a much more complicated process than that I know but it plays a huge factor in it of this I'm sure.). And I've single without any interest in a very long time so following my logic I'm not attractive to the many people I've met... I get this, I'm not thrilled about it but I get it. So why does this upset people who know me?

And another thing
When a guy is not interested they (and they have the balls to admit they want you to step back) always lamely offer "You're a nice girl, and very pretty but I'm not into you". I find that these words are empty. The person saying no is appeasing you by giving you that one shred of validation the women crave... "You're pretty"

We are so much more than pretty or not pretty ... like men are more than good looking or not good looking... Why do we like to focus on this so much?

I don't get that... I never have... I mean sure I've found people attractive, but I try to find out more than I like the way you look in that shirt.